The Haunting

People are always really worried about being haunted by ghosts, but it seems obvious to me that if you are being haunted, you probably did something to deserve it. The next time someone tells you that they are being haunted by a ghost, you should say "think back. Have you really really pissed off someone who then died? Did they die from being pissed off so hard?" You can also piss off someone who is already dead, like by sleeping with their widow(er) or desecrating their name. One time I said something mean about birds, and the next day the driver's side door of my car was covered in bird poop, even though I wasn't parked under a tree. They KNEW. And I paid for it.

Below is a picture I made of my friend Megan seeing me shrouded in the ghostly haze of the undead. See how I'm still smiling? Megan didn't upset me to the death, nor did she desecrate my memory by blowing off my FUNeral for a parking lot quickie or a JK Rowling book signing (which anyway would be forgivable).
I think that the percentage of angry-for-no-reason ghosts is equivalent to the percentage of people who put dirty syringes in change return slots in phone booths. It's just not that likely.
Probably you are dealing with some serious deflection issues and you need to take a good long look inside to see how your actions might be affecting others. Affecting them to death.

...that being said, try to avoid having sex in a cemetery. (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, weirdo I studied abroad with)

Question: is Japanese Prime Minister Taro Aso hot?



Can you name your world leaders? Also, did you know that the Japanese legislature is called the Diet? They have a House of Representatives and a House of Councillors, which sounds cool and evil (not mutually exclusive!) Also, when they started the Diet system back in 1889 (the same year that two of my favorite corporations, Coca Cola and Nintendo, were founded) it was called the Imperial Diet, which sounds awesome. Do you think if I called my diet an Imperial Diet it would be easier to follow?

A Few Things...

My best friend, confidante and artistic idol Megan has posted on her blog about the creative works of another dear friend of mine, Ian, who is marking the end of analog with a pirate TV performance on June 12th of this year. If you live in Pittsburgh you should check this out. You can even submit a video! (No porn, please.) Learn more about his project here.

When Ian and I lived together he was always fiddling around with some sort of tech thing or another, notably paper-mache speakers and cassette-tape wall art. I'm glad to know that he's still thinking big thoughts and sharing them with the universe thanks to the world wide web.

Here is probably my favorite picture of Ian (taken by this hottie):

That's a face ready to defend analog to the death (metal). Plus he's actually a really nice guy!

Remember that scene in Live Free or Die Hard when Thomas Gabriel tells John McClane, "you're an analog watch in a digital age, John." Sometimes I feel like that. But if you thought I wasn't embracing the suffocating grasp of technology, you're only part right! I may be afraid that my future children will grow up illiterate and lose their virginities in AOL chat rooms, but there are also some major advantages to having access to technology.

Advantage #1: Organ harvesting (the legal kind!)
Advantage #2: Electronic music. For example, last night I used TECHNOLOGY to make a headbanger playlist, which you can listen to right here!

Lets Get Fucked Up & Dance - White Knights

Probably this is a playlist best served with a side of glowsticks, ecstasy, and a bathtub full of laced punch, but we do what we can.