The Haunting

People are always really worried about being haunted by ghosts, but it seems obvious to me that if you are being haunted, you probably did something to deserve it. The next time someone tells you that they are being haunted by a ghost, you should say "think back. Have you really really pissed off someone who then died? Did they die from being pissed off so hard?" You can also piss off someone who is already dead, like by sleeping with their widow(er) or desecrating their name. One time I said something mean about birds, and the next day the driver's side door of my car was covered in bird poop, even though I wasn't parked under a tree. They KNEW. And I paid for it.

Below is a picture I made of my friend Megan seeing me shrouded in the ghostly haze of the undead. See how I'm still smiling? Megan didn't upset me to the death, nor did she desecrate my memory by blowing off my FUNeral for a parking lot quickie or a JK Rowling book signing (which anyway would be forgivable).
I think that the percentage of angry-for-no-reason ghosts is equivalent to the percentage of people who put dirty syringes in change return slots in phone booths. It's just not that likely.
Probably you are dealing with some serious deflection issues and you need to take a good long look inside to see how your actions might be affecting others. Affecting them to death.

...that being said, try to avoid having sex in a cemetery. (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, weirdo I studied abroad with)