Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
SNOREZOPOLIS

I took woodcarving lessons from an old dude who lived in the outer regions featured in the above photo. His house was even more intense. Every inch of it was carved. He had two grandchildren who lived with adopted parents in Indiana and had American names like Nick and Steve or something. The parents sent him long emails, which someone would translate into Russian for him. I told him if I was ever in Indiana I would look them up, but I haven't even written him a letter. I am a shitty ex-student.

I've been reading Craig Thompson's Carnet de Voyage lately. It's different than his other, more thought-out works, but also the same. Same borderline neurotic, self-effacing romantic sensibilities. It makes me want to return to my old Russian journals and drawings and compile them into a body of work that I wouldn't be ashamed to show people. I'm afraid I'll look back and find nothing but whining.
Boy has this blog been unhumorous recently. Here's an offensive joke:
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
Look to the comments section for the horrendous answer!
Sometimes I think about getting rid of comments, to delude myself that I have a myriad of avid readers and just don't have to time to respond to them. But I'm too desperate for human interaction. HAHAHA no, really.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
the good kind of dairy

p.s. on the issue of Gay Activism (who?? what?) Durban Bud says this:
Besides protesting outside organizations that seek to demean us, the gays and their allies need to do something provocative to bring attention to the individual meanies who continually disrespect us behind our backs. An animal rights activist recently threw flour on poor Lindsay Lohan for wearing fur. In the past, similar activists have branded fur-wearing bitches with red paint. This strategy works. Whenever we now see a sophisticated woman in tears walking down the street with red paint splattered all over her fancy attire, we think to ourselves, "Wow -- that woman must hate animals, or maybe she must have gotten into a fight with her pimp. Regardless, I think I will avoid her in the future. She's scum."
Maybe instead of red paint or flour we could sprinkle our mean-spirited adversaries with glitter. Glitter might appear to be harmless and an easily removable annoyance, but, as someone who used to go clubbing regularly, I can attest that little specks of glitter -- covertly transmitted from brief non-consensual contact with a grinding tina twink -- will remain on your person for days until a senior VP points it out during an all-staff meeting in the company conference room by saying, "Can you turn your head a little bit? I think I saw a little sparkle shining on you or something." As he leans in for a closer inspection he shouts, "OMG -- are you wearing glitter?!?"
I LOVE THIS IDEA.